The Dream Master (1) (For Age 11-13 years)

[Viking Poet (U.K.)]

The Dream Master  (1)

(For Age 11 - 13 years)

Stealing dreams


He glides across the floors in his long black cape
Creeping around the house reading minds;
The Dream Master searches for any one asleep;
Then..., rips out the dreams that he finds.

He carries a flask of bright polished silver,
To store the new dreams that he steals;
It's tied to his waist with a twisted spiked chain,
Plugged tight with a waxed leather seal.

Throughout the night he drifts with the wind,
Searching for dreams anew;
Clearing a house in the blink of an eye;
Sometimes if he's quick; he'll clear two.

Hunting under the cover of darkness
Through bitter winds and rain;
With a never ending hunger for dreams,
He scours the night's sky in great pain.

Not allways taking, he will sometimes give back;
But, never the same dream that he stole;
Once taken they are worthless and shorter,
Or, shattered and full of holes.

He searches for the good and innocent,
Who dream of the nice things in life;
Then, destroys the visions in a blinding flash;
By cutting away the dream in a slice.

Sometimes he comes across little beings;
Who are really good at home,
He leaves them behind with a bad nightmare;
So when they wake, they feel lost and alone.

When the flask of silver is nearly full,
He crams in the last fragments to the top
Returning home to the Hall of Dreams;
To decant in jars alongside his other crops.

Shining so brightly they illuminate the great hall;
Enough to walk around without light,
However, the dream master doesn't need light to see;
As he can sniff out a dream on the darkest of nights.

The Dream Master  (1) (For Age 11 - 13 years)

22/03/2008

Viking Poet (U.K.)

[Hannah]

Wow! This is dark, Paul. Good to see another side to your creativity.  Kids love to be scared and this one would fit the bill nicely. I can see them wide-eyed under their covers determined not to go to sleep.

It's a great story, very visual. I could 'see' what you were painting.

The only thing, I'm not sure the final stanza rounds it off - to me it seems to lead to another 'scene' or comment. Or if not another stanza, maybe a bit of reworking of the last one, or perhaps changing it around a bit with the second last. I'm not sure what exactly, but it does seem to need 'something' changed or added. Perhaps its the pacing in the last two lines that need to be tightened, made a little more clipped to bring it to a close. Alternatively, you could perhaps make it appear that he's off again, leaving his long hall to collect more dreams - a type of 'open ending'.

Food for thought, anyway.

Cheers, Hannah 

[Viking Poet (U.K.)]

G'day Hannah,
It's great to see you again.
I wrote this after the site was hit and forum went down for a while. I felt lost wondering what to do
and this materialised. I take your point about the last stanza, and yes, It does have followups as you quite rightly noted
so I'll post the next sheet.
Writing this type of work is very creative in it's self what with the storyline, plots and themes conjuring up visions
of dark nights and things flying around hunting. No wonder kids like reading the stuff! I never have done so I'm behind the camera
as to speak once again.
I'll check the last stanza over again just to make sure it does give the impression of leading on to the next part.
Thank you Hannah once again for your help and time.
Cheers for now.

Paul
       Viking Poet (U.K.)